Deepdale Backpackers & Camping Blog

I have been discrima… desccream… discermin… I have been picked on! I went today to pursue my Destiny and become the first Collie to compete in the Burnham Market Horse Trails only to be told that they were for horses only! That doggies can not enter and that they cannot qualififii… qualtifi… can’t get into the ‘Lympics!

Peoples this is speciesist!

This is not fair!

How am I supposed to win a medal at the ‘Lympics now? I have spent all year learning jumping and ‘bstacles! I have had jections to get my passport so that I can travel. I have trained through aching paws and a Mummy who seems to be deaf at times. I have trained in the snow and the wind and the rain, as well as sunny days. I have worn shoes on my silly paws to make sure I go to school. And now I am being told no! It is desccri… scrimin… disrimina… They is specieists!

If you know any other events where I can compete in the ‘lympics, please let me know. I really want to hear my song and get a medal!

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You can usually meet Merlin and Jazz at Deepdale Backpackers & Camping on the beautiful north Norfolk coast – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk
Eco-friendly backpackers hostel, campsite, tipis, yurts and group hostel

You can read about Merlin and Jazz’s adventures on the Deepdale Backpackers & Camping Blog – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk/blog

People’s you may bemember that last year I went to see an horse jumping show called the Burnham Market Horse Trails. It was here that I decided, that I, Merlin Bramhall-Smith, was going to become a show jumping horse when I growed up.

So I have gone to school all year to learn jumping and obs’acles and I have gotten very ‘pressive. I have even been promoted to silver class after just 2 terms. Should be beginners, then beginners 2, then bronze, then silver, then gold. I skipped beginners 2. See ‘pressive!

Now these horse trials are very ‘portant ‘cos they are qualif… quaffil…qualtif… they let people’s go to the ‘lympics if they is very good. I will be very good. The rulz say that I have to have a rider though. You may bemeber that asked for applic… appilca… appsli… peoples for the position last year. I was very disdapointed with the results of this peoples. Very disdapointed. I got one response from Effy Widdowson.

She is a one year old springer spaniel and she was not very good at sitting in the saddle and she doesn’t have thumbs for holding the reigns. So this didn’t work out. I am now stuck with Mummy. I don’t hold out much hope for her, but rulz is rulz, and I wants to be in the ‘lympics. I wants to stand on a table and gets a medal while all the peoples sing my song. I think I have decided on ‘Hound Dog’ by Mr. Presley, but I could go with ‘Gold’ by those Ballet peoples. I’m not certain yet. Maybe I should open a vote on it? It will be a proud moment for Collies everywhere when I wipe the floor with those horses!

So peoples I will let you know how I gets on, and when you can ‘spect to see me in the ‘lympics.

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You can usually meet Merlin and Jazz at Deepdale Backpackers & Camping on the beautiful north Norfolk coast – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk
Eco-friendly backpackers hostel, campsite, tipis, yurts and group hostel

You can read about Merlin and Jazz’s adventures on the Deepdale Backpackers & Camping Blog – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk/blog

Today Mummy has been being ‘creative’ with power tools, bits of wood and a flame thrower!

These are the tools Mummy used. See a big saw and a flame thrower. She actually called it a blow torch. But if flames jump out of it and stuff… it’s a flame thrower. Right? 

She was a little bit clever (not very clever like me – just a litttle bit) and turned a pile of little sticks and some old wood into new signs for outside the information centre. She said it’s all like recycled stuff ‘cos it’s stuff that has no other purpose. The ‘Uman thought she was being funny when she said that Mummy was describing herself. The ‘Uman kept very far away from the Barn while Mummy was using the flame thrower after that comment.

My very cleverness would have made the little sticks into toys that would have lasted me nearly all afternoon.

She came up with this instead….

See? Little bit clever.

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You can usually meet Merlin and Jazz at Deepdale Backpackers & Camping on the beautiful north Norfolk coast – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk
Eco-friendly backpackers hostel, campsite, tipis, yurts and group hostel

You can read about Merlin and Jazz’s adventures on the Deepdale Backpackers & Camping Blog – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk/blog

Yesterday the Mummy’s took Merlin and me out to Felbrigg, which is a national trust statley home and park. It was a lovely day and we had a really good time. This is me enjoying the sunshie after chasing Merlin around while she looked like this…

She looks like a numptey, doesn’t she?

So anyway, Felbrigg Hall is a lovely place to go walking with dog’s. It has a nice little lake, and woodlands and a cafe, and a church and some sheep and some cows. And lots and lots of lovely sticks.

This is Mummy and Merlin at the lake. Merlin had been rolling in cow patts for most of the morning. That isn’t a smile on Mummy’s face. Oh no. It is a grimace at the eau de cow patties that Merlin is wearing. Eau de Cow Patties is my second favourite scent when walking, my first favourite being Eau de Sheep poop.

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You can usually meet Merlin and Jazz at Deepdale Backpackers & Camping on the beautiful north Norfolk coast – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk
Eco-friendly backpackers hostel, campsite, tipis, yurts and group hostel

You can read about Merlin and Jazz’s adventures on the Deepdale Backpackers & Camping Blog – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk/blog

Peoples I come with a word of warning. Tomorrow the electrickery is going to be off in the hostel and in the toilets and in my work house that the ‘Uman calls an office. The elctrickery peoples have to cut some sticks out of trees that are near the electrickery cables and so they don’ts hurt theyselves they have to turn off the electrickery.

‘Cos there’ll be no lights and no heating or hots water you can’t come and see me tomorrow. So I will be expecting more visitors on the day after to make up for you not seeing me then. Also the electrickery makes phones and ‘puters work, so they won’t be working neither. Mummy says it will be like being in the dark ages.  Whats a dark age?

This is me in my work house that won’t work tomorrow.

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You can usually meet Merlin and Jazz at Deepdale Backpackers & Camping on the beautiful north Norfolk coast – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk
Eco-friendly backpackers hostel, campsite, tipis, yurts and group hostel

You can read about Merlin and Jazz’s adventures on the Deepdale Backpackers & Camping Blog – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk/blog

Auntie Susan is taking me to school tonight ‘cos Mummy is deserting me for a radio interview!

It is not on people’s! Not on.

I am important and special. And I needs my Mummy! I don’t care that she is going on the radio to talk about her book. I don’t care that she is doing it so she can buy me a spangly new collar for Christmas. That is months away peoples! Jazz told me so. What I care about is who is going to keep up with me when I am running around my course at school. I like Auntie Susan but it has taken me a long, long, long, long, long time to train Mummy. I don’t want to start over again with ‘Uman training – they are not always very bright and I don’t have a lot of patience.

I know you don’t care either but Mummy gave me the radio numbers 107.8fm Future Radio station in the Norwich area. This is so I could listen to her in the car when I am going to school. Talk about adding insult to injury peoples!

I am not happy peoples.

Not happy.

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You can usually meet Merlin and Jazz at Deepdale Backpackers & Camping on the beautiful north Norfolk coast – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk
Eco-friendly backpackers hostel, campsite, tipis, yurts and group hostel

You can read about Merlin and Jazz’s adventures on the Deepdale Backpackers & Camping Blog – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk/blog

I know have another set of shoes… and socks! For all of my paws. Not just my front ones. These ones are Ruffwear Barkin’ Boots of the Polar trek variety. They come higher up my legs to prevent inav… unad… invert… accidental removal and snow can’t get into my shoes. I also have now got some very sexy socks. This is what the ‘Uman calls them… she is also exta… ecsa… stacti… very excited ‘cos out shoes match. See…

It’s not my fault peoples. I am bus… abd… abu… not treated right!

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You can usually meet Merlin and Jazz at Deepdale Backpackers & Camping on the beautiful north Norfolk coast – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk
Eco-friendly backpackers hostel, campsite, tipis, yurts and group hostel

You can read about Merlin and Jazz’s adventures on the Deepdale Backpackers & Camping Blog – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk/blog

Mummy is trying to find some cream or something to toughen up my paws. I keep getting cuts on my pads ‘cos they’re all soft. So tonight I should be going to school but instead I’m stuck in bandages. It’s not good. I’m not happy peoples. Not happy.

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You can usually meet Merlin and Jazz at Deepdale Backpackers & Camping on the beautiful north Norfolk coast – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk
Eco-friendly backpackers hostel, campsite, tipis, yurts and group hostel

You can read about Merlin and Jazz’s adventures on the Deepdale Backpackers & Camping Blog – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk/blog

That’s right peoples… my Mummy has been a little bit clever and written a book. She obviously has gotten the idea from all my blogging and recently I have been tweeting too. So she has followed in my pawsteps and been hiting the keyboard (I mean typing) a lot. A very lot.  Actually it is a very very very lot. The ‘uman seems to be in charge now…. I don’t like it. She doesn’t know her left from her right!

Anyway, Mummy’s book now has a front cover…

And she’s hopping about all excited. I don’t know what it’s about… she said I was too young to read it… I said if I didn’t write it, I don’t want to read it… so there! I like sitting in puddles but I don’t particularly like putting my face underwater like these peoples in the picture are doing!

She also seems to be following in my pawsteps with regards to stick shaping. I use my teeth to make the sticks on the common just the right shapes. Mummy uses these sharp bits of metal and a mal’t… male… a hammer, and makes the big sticks have words and pictures for my new Yurts at Woodview. Like this….

She scraped and hammered and then used fire and some other stuff to ‘finish’ the big sticks. Now they are all up with the new Yurts and looking pretty cool. Even if they are a bit too big for anyone to throw for me!

I am also very dissapointed. School tonight has been cancelled due to snow!

This is a picture of me at school…

I am very good at school… even if I do have to say so all myself!

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You can usually meet Merlin and Jazz at Deepdale Backpackers & Camping on the beautiful north Norfolk coast – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk
Eco-friendly backpackers hostel, campsite, tipis, yurts and group hostel

You can read about Merlin and Jazz’s adventures on the Deepdale Backpackers & Camping Blog – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk/blog

I went to the Jolly Sailor’s quiz night on Tuesday with Mummy 1 and 2, and Auntie Susan.

We called our group Merlin’s maniac’s and we came last.

I request volunteer’s with higher IQ’s for future quiz expedition’s… please send you application’s to enquiries@deepdalebackpackers.co.uk for the attention of Jazzy Bramhall-Smith. Thank you peoples… goodbye.

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You can usually meet Merlin and Jazz at Deepdale Backpackers & Camping on the beautiful north Norfolk coast – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk
Eco-friendly backpackers hostel, campsite, tipis, yurts and group hostel

You can read about Merlin and Jazz’s adventures on the Deepdale Backpackers & Camping Blog – www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk/blog